On the Horizon

So I have this fear that eventually pedophilia will become tolerated, then accepted, then decriminalized, and possibly when the world really goes to Hell in a hand basket, legalized.

I know, it sounds crazy, right?

But there are already sympathetic stories creeping around on the horizon.

If I notice them, I'll link to them here, just for references sake.

There was one a while back that I don't have the inclination to go looking for just now, but it was about a trans-gender and trans-aged individual who claimed to be a 6 year old girl who also just happened to have a sexual relationship with the person identified as the adopted dad. Granted it's not exactly pedophilia, but it is role-playing, and when you start acting like age is something you can identify however you want to, you are really destroying any and all arguments against pedophilia.

Anyway, I just noticed this today:

http://news.yahoo.com/hawaii-mans-opinions-sex-keep-him-becoming-teacher-223835776.html

It's rather unremarkable. Someone who is a pedophilia sympathizer is denied a teaching certificate. Good job gatekeepers.

But the troubling thing is the sympathetic tone of this human-interest piece, and acting like he was treated wrongfully.

Expect to see more of these human-interest articles in regards to pedophilia. They will start making the rounds, and some will start becoming desensitized to the idea that PEDOPHILIA IS WRONG. 

Soylent

I'm posting this link here so if I ever go looking for it, I can find it.

Hackerschool Soylent by Cooking for 20

I've been trying this as a breakfast shake for a while now, and I LOVE the way I feel when I'm on it. I feel like I'm more motivated and energetic. Of course getting a well rounded dose of nutrients as opposed to a left over slice of pizza in the morning will do that for you.

I use it as a breakfast meal because I'm too lazy to actually make something decent to eat in the morning. Cold cereal is awful, and I never feel satisfied when I go that route. Before Soylent, I would usually not really eat breakfast, unless it was the aforementioned left over pizza...or cake...

I think it's a pretty good alternative to actual healthy food all things considering.

Homemade Hair Gel

I had already cut my hair short(ish). It was in an asymmetrical bob, which, although I liked, was still not exactly what I was looking for.

So, a month or two ago I pulled out my hair clippers and #8 guard and did this:

Freshly cut for the first time. No gel yet.

Luckily my social circles were supportive of me making such a dramatic change, and I like it a lot better than I thought I would. So basically I don't feel very self conscious about it, which I thought that I might. And man, it felt good!
 
Anyway, I'm still working with the exact cut that I want. Part of the reason I wanted to do it was because it's a style that I can cut and maintain by myself without visiting a stylist every 6 weeks or so. Talk about freedom! Also it's super easy to take care of. Can I just say that men have it good?

This gel covered my color too much. It also turned to white powder when disturbed.

One thing I didn't get before was why on earth my Sexy Man was so particular about his hair products. I was rather confused why he was so broken-hearted when Fructis discontinued his favorite pomade.

Now I know.

Looking for the right gel is annoying. You have to buy a whole tub(e) just to try it once and realize it isn't right for what you want. And one gel that might work at the beginning of your haircut might drastically lose it's effectiveness or look once you get a few weeks of growth going on. Then there's the ones that get that white powder look if after they dry and get ruffled around a little.

So what's a girl to do? Make your own of course!

I found this recipe for a Flaxseed Hair Gel online. It's supposed to be for ladies with long curly hair, which is not exactly (by which I mean "not at all") me. But I decided to give it a try anyway.

Basically you take some flax seeds and boil them in some water for a while. Strain out the seeds, throw it in the fridge and wha-la! Hair gel.

So how is it?

Well...once you get past the egg white texture...(Seriously. The stuff is like troll snot!) 

Texture aside, it has a light brown tint from the flax seeds, but surprisingly, I feel like it maintained my natural hair color better than other gels I've used, which tend to make it look darker than it is. (Note: my color is important to me. If it's wet-looking it just looks brunette, but it's naturally a nice color of auburn, and I want that to show through.) I'm not sure if the tint would be noticeable or not on lighter hair.

It even helps it look shinier, but in a healthy way. It doesn't look greasy like I expected it might.

I can let it dry and it will hold a crispy look if I want it to. Or I can ruffle it up a little for a softer look that still holds the shape I'm after.

Trying out homemade flaxseed gel.

I added in a few drops of essential oil just because I could, but strictly speaking it's not necessary.

On the down side, apparently it's best to keep it in the fridge because it can go bad. Bummer. That combined with the effort to make the stuff, and keep making it every couple of weeks might mean it might not be a forever solution, although I'm pretty happy dealing with that for now considering I haven't found a commercial product that suits me yet.

Interestingly, even though short hair tends to be more of a masculine feature, I've felt less frumpy since buzzing it all of. I also have been more motivated to wear makeup and earrings and I think overall I feel and look better with a pixie than I did with long hair. 

KonMari and My Wardrobe

I'm not sure where I came across it, and what made me feel like I needed to buy it so badly, but I found this book and bought the Kindle version a few weeks ago.

It is called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I've read through it and am seriously excited to put it into practice.

I'm at a bit of a standstill for the moment, because we are living out of town for the summer for a job. But, while I was cleaning out the house in preparation to go, I did notice how fresh and light everything felt when I finished with an area. So the good news is that at the end of the summer, we will get to move back into our home with a fresh eye and a large majority of the clutter already out of the house. Woot woot!

The bad news is that all the clutter is stuffed floor to ceiling in our garage.

I did try a modified version of KonMari on my clothes. I know you're supposed to do it a certain way, but it was impossible for me to implement in its fulness at that time. You see, you are only supposed to keep the things that bring you joy. And...well...my wardrobe situation has been anything but joyful for a very long time.

I don't like to shop. So I don't. So most of my clothes come to me by way of other people's cast offs. (Which I have been very thankful for!) I am happy that I have had them, that they came conveniently to my doorstop, and that I did not have to spend the time and money to purchase them myself. I think there were a half a dozen shirts in my closet that I have purchased for myself in the last 9 years, and those were for special occasions or from gift cards (or family members offering to get me something for my birthday). Maybe one or two I picked up out of the blue because I was so desperate to get something for myself.

The problem with getting clothes in this way is that things tend not to fit very well sometimes (this problem is compounded by my recent pregnancy and current postpartum weight fluctuations) and that I have a very poor understanding of what my style preferences are. Simply put, I don't know what kind of clothes and colors that I actually like.

Anyway, The total number of clothes in my closet that brought me joy was limited to 1 dress, 1 skirt, and 1 T-shirt. Only the dress actually fits right now.

I am not even kidding.

If I got rid of everything else, I'd be running around in the same outfit Every. Single. Day. So I made my criteria anything that wasn't damaged, that fit my body, and that I didn't hate. I ended up with this:

There were also a few things that didn't fit that I didn't hate. I thought I might slim down enough to wear them later, so I kept those but put them away. Here they are:

So...not a lot. (I didn't throw out any pants whether I hated them or not. I have so few that it was incredibly impractical to do so.)

This is all I kept. Everything else went away. And when I looked at how depressing my wardrobe was, and realized that I didn't even really like most of the items I could wear, it all made sense. It made sense to me why I feel so frumpy all the time and why I cycle through the same 2 outfits day after day.

Interestingly enough, as small as this is, I actually have been wearing a larger variety of things than before because they weren't lost in the jungle of other stuff that didn't fit, or was damaged, or that I hated.

Also, realizing how miserable my clothing situation is, I actually went out and bought a shirt! I got it at Wal-mart for $12.99, but true to the actual KonMari criteria, I love it! I feel good in it. It brings me joy. A week or so later I found another shirt that brings me joy for $3.00 at a thrift shop. So I now have one dress and two shirts that I love.

I'll be working on improving this while my husband has his summer job. Hopefully in the fall when I come back to KonMari my house back into shape I will have a decent set of clothes that I love to wear. Wish me luck!

Sweet!

I made sweet potato chips today. They are way too good! I probably should not make these again, for the sake of my waistline. I didn't look up any recipes, but then again, I didn't really need one. I sliced them up with the wide side of my cheese grater (my mandolin broke), fried them in oil, and seasoned them with salt, pepper, garlic, and paprika. With the natural sugars and the seasonings, I think they taste kind of like BBQ chips.

Homemade Cheez-Its

Homemade Cheez-Its

Food52

Just Amazing. I love, Love, LOVE these!

Even the little fingers could barely keep their hands out of them long enough for a picture.
I see more of these in the future. Much more. I may even have to get a fluted rotary cutter just for this recipe.

Jellomallows!

It's been a while huh? I'm totally going to own it. I've been in a grump, been in a frump, and pushed a baby out of my body, so I'm totally okay with whatever I haven't posted.

Also, in honor of my giggly baby-free belly, and ravenous appetite, I dug up this recipe and gave it a try:

Jello Flavored Marshmallows

from Joy of Jello

I used the strawberry flavor. It's pretty darn tasty if I do say so myself, although I probably wouldn't eat more than one at a time. They're quite sweet!

The recipe says to roll it out and cut it out into squares or use cookie cutters after setting. I used a mini-cupcake tin, which gave it a shape that I liked (short of going and buying a mold somewhere). However, using this method necessitates the use of more oil...so take it or leave it.

I didn't have any powdered sugar on hand, but did you know you can make powdered sugar by putting granulated sugar into a blender. Sweet right? I might never buy it again. Just throw in a tablespoon of corn starch, a cup of sugar and blend away!

Just a note: I would be cautious trying to make this if you don't have a KitchenAid. I almost burned out my hand beaters making this beast. I don't think I'll be giving this recipe another go until I get a KitchenAid (after I get a kitchen large enough to fit more appliances into that is).

Also, I've never been much of a jello lover, but the fact that there is a blog totally devoted to the art of jello makes me curious to try a few more of their concoctions.

More Crocodile Love

My latest pair of booties was a variation on my Bootie #2 style this time in cream and lilac.

I made the cuff significantly higher doing 7 rows of crocodile stitch rather than 3.

They're for a sweet little niece in the family who made her arrival just last week. 

The original Bootie #2 also found a new home for a little guy that came the same day as our new niece. 

Craft Sunday

We've had a cardboard box sitting in our living room for a couple weeks now. My Sexy Man brought it home for the hooligans to play with. They decided they wanted it to be a boat, and after several weeks of procrastination, I finally got to it and made the boat for them.

Now they're working on painting it. I told the little one to do the inside and the bigger one to do the outside in hopes that it would keep them from fighting. It's effectiveness is questionable at best, but probably better than if they kept trying to paint over each other's masterpieces.

Bootie # 4

More baby booties! 

This one is intended for a boy. It's inspired by moccasins, but since it lacks authenticity maybe I should call it a "mock-moc"? Or maybe I'll just stick with Bootie #4.

Anyway, I'm liking the concept, but still have kinks to work out (don't I always?)

Again, the suede bottoms with the fluffy insides. I'm loving this stuff.

And again, I really should go read my camera manual because I hate the way my pictures turn out all out of focus and crap. One of these days....one of these days.

PS If you're wondering what happened to Bootie # 3 (because I know you totally are) they are actually not the Crocodile Stitch Love Bootie I made. Those were a variation on Bootie # 1's bottom with a crocodile stitch top. I didn't see a point in labeling it as a new type of bootie since the basic concept is the same as a previous one. Bootie # 3 isn't actually out yet, but I'm hoping they'll look like ballet slippers.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Nothin' like a gorgeous Valentine's Day Picnic!

(Can you believe this crazy weather?!)

50 Shades of Emotional Incompetence

First off, let me say that No, I have not read 50 Shades of Grey. So am I perhaps slightly unqualified to write about it? Most likely. But I've been following the hubbub about this story and its release as a movie tonight which is expected to sell record numbers of tickets, much to the chagrin of feminists, the morally inclined, and abuse survivors.

Aside from the casual and mainstream acceptance of the kinky, erotic, and pornographic nature of the book/movie, the thing that most concerns me is the lack of understanding about emotionally unhealthy behaviors portrayed. Now, the pornographic storyline is a huge issue and very concerning to me, particularly since it is roping in so many women as it's primary audience. I'm not sure when it became romantic to be considered an object, but I digress. All in all, if that was the extent of it, I'm sure there would be less concern and outrage over the story, but 50 Shades represents something much more insidious.

Christian Grey is emotionally, psychologically, and physically abusive. And not just because of his interest in that bizarre BDSM stuff (which may or may not be consensual...that's a debate I'll leave alone). The frightening thing to me is that so many hallmarks of abuse are portrayed as romantic tokens of passion/affection/or (heaven forbid!) love. And our society is getting so conditioned to accepting this that we are no longer able to distinguish them as such.

Check out this site written by a therapist:

http://50shadesofabuse.wordpress.com/warning-signs/

She also has a chapter by chapter breakdown of specific instances of abuse and unhealthy behavior, which I couldn't actually stomach reading.

It's not just 50 Shades that does this either. If you watch for it, you will see examples of possessiveness, jealously, mood swings, inappropriate gifts, obsessiveness, stalking etc. portrayed as romantic expressions of passion in media everywhere. Instead of being creepy or dysfunctional, we start to view these things as being protective, interested, or attentive.

When Twilight took the teenage world by storm, these ideas about what constitutes a passionately romantic relationship enraptured a young and impressionable female audience. You can see examples everywhere of how unhealthy the relationship is, and yet it was viewed as a fabulous love story by those too naive to know better.

I did read Twilight, and I enjoyed the series in an easy reading, no thinking, junk food binge type of way. I wasn't a teenager anymore, and I was married and yet it wasn't until later that I noticed the abusive tenor to it. I wonder if even the author realized that the behaviors she was writing about were abusive, or if it's something so insidious that it can be promoted unintentionally.

PS Here's one of many deconstructions on abusiveness in Twilight in case you're not sure what I'm talking about:

http://www.anamardoll.com/2013/06/twilight-abuse-and-attention.html

Although this deconstruction only looks at a short segment of the book, I can recall instances where Bella detaches from her friends and family and loses her identity in Edward, where one or the other would rather commit suicide than live without the other, and times where he stalks her, gives her inappropriate gifts, or tricks/forces her to do things she doesn't want to do (like attend Prom, among other rites of passage that she has no interest in, but he insists she take part in). He also treats her like she is incapable of survival without him.

It's not just her relationship with Edward that is messed up either. She has a very enmeshed relationship with her mother where she used to take care of the bulk of her mother's emotional and physical needs before moving away. That's not healthy. In fact, I'm not entirely sure that Bella has a single healthy relationship in the entire book.

Anyway, I don't know that it's the fact that the books exist that is the problem. The problem seems to be that when people read them, I'm not sure that they stop and think, "That was unhealthy, not romantic." For all the attention that sex-ed gets in our educational/political system, I think it's strange that we don't take the time to educate our children on what constitutes unhealthy relationship behaviors.

I've been in emotionally abusive relationships with and without the sexual abuse included. I can tell you that as bad as the sexual abuse is, the emotional abuse can be more insidious because often the victim cannot identify it at the time, and possibly not until years later. I've also realized in retrospect that some of my behaviors in relationships have been manipulative and abusive in ways as well. Had I been taught to recognize these things specifically, perhaps I might have avoided inflicting and accepting some of these abuses.

I fully intend to teach my children about relationship red-flags and abusive behaviors in a hope that when they see them, they will know them for what they are, rather than mistaking them for romantically passionate attention.

Crocodile Stitch Love

Well, I am enjoying playing with the Crocodile Stitch, as featured in my new booties:

It took a little playing to figure out how to put an edging on it in a way that I liked, but I'm reasonably happy with the results. 

Planning on giving them to a Mom who's new baby girl has been spending a little time in the NICU.

Bootie # 2

Here's my latest crochet adventure which I dubbed (oh, so creatively) "Bootie # 2"!

This pattern is intended for a boy, and is not quite as refined as I'd like it to be yet. Still, I think it shows some promise! (Boys are hard to crochet for....just sayin'.)

I took the opportunity to become acquainted with the crocodile stitch, something that I think I might be getting obsessive about in the future. I can't believe I haven't tried it out before!

Again, I used a fabric sole with a punch to start off with. This time I did a slightly larger size and I used a suede-type fabric with a fluffy inner lining. I think it'll feel great on those little baby toes!

PS that stuff is super expensive at $24.99 a yard...BUT you don't need much for a baby bootie sole, and if you have a half off coupon, it's not such a big deal! Now if only I could find it in more colors....

Anyway, feeling glad to have this particular project off the hook. I look forward to refining some flaws out of it and making it even better in the future.

Crochet Baby Booties

One of my very few talents is crochet. I learned a basic stitch from my Grandmother a few years ago, and it took off from there. I feel like it's the ONE thing I do really well.

Anyway, here's my latest:

Ta-da! These are intended for a baby girl...hence the frilliness!

This is freehand. I didn't use a pattern. I'm still working on getting everything the way I want it before I write it up and save the pattern for other crochet lovers.

One notable new thing I did was this:

I used felt for the sole of the bootie, and I LOVE it!

Now, I've crocheted bootie soles before, but I'm just not a fan of doing it. It's hard for me to keep track of the stitches that I'm on and it seems like they always warp into a fold or a bubble when I start working up the sides of the bootie.

So I cut out these little soles (supposedly Newborn Size at around 3.5" long) and punched some holes around the edge which I crocheted into. I don't think I'll ever go back to crocheting the soles again!

Anyway, there are tons of babies coming in my social circle, so I may just be on a bootie-run (okay, that sounded a little weird, sorry!) for the next little while. I hope I can make enough to get them to everyone!

Living Alternatively = Living Dangerously?

An interesting case has been in the news lately about an Arkansas family who had their 7 children placed in state custody over concerns from neighbors and from the state.

Now, I don't know much about this situation, and they may very well need to have their children in state protection.

...BUT....

It's also possible that choosing an alternative lifestyle, that is not understood or approved of by mainstream culture, is a dangerous way to live, and will bring you into the scrutiny of the law.

None of the following examples pertain to the story, but are thoughts and concerns I've had as I've read and wondered about various aspects of Alternative Living for myself.



- IF you decide to have your babies at home, rather than in a hospital, COULD you be accused of endangering your child, or failing to provide necessary medical care?

- IF you decide to use alternative health measures such as herbs, vitamins, prayer, or whatever, or refuse a certain treatment, or seek a second opinion, COULD you be accused of medical neglect?

- IF you decide to raise your children religiously, COULD you be accused of teaching them intolerance/prejudice/inequality?

- IF you decide to homeschool your children, COULD you be accused of neglecting their education?

- IF you have a family farm, garden, or homestead....or IF you have your children help with vehicle maintenance, home repair, etc. COULD you be accused of violating child labor laws?

- IF you grow, can, ferment, dehydrate, and prepare a significant amount of your own food, or drink your own raw milk, or make your own raw yogurt and cheese, or if you butcher your own animals for food, COULD you be accused of exposing your child to an "unsafe" food supply?

- IF you practice living off the grid and securing your own water and electricity, or if you build your home and/or outbuildings out of alternative materials such as tires or cob, COULD you be accused of allowing your children in an "unsafe" environment because they aren't up to code?

- IF you have compost worms under your sink, or grow meal bugs for your chickens, or use your own compost or even humanure on your plants, COULD you be accused of having your children live in a dirty environment?

- IF you allow your children to play outside without your supervision, COULD you be accused of neglect?

- IF you decide to teach your children how to handle a firearm, COULD you be accused of child endangerment?

- IF you discipline your children through spanking, COULD you be accused of child abuse?



My point is that really, if it's not what everyone is doing, if you decide to live in a different manner than the norm, (regardless of the actual or perceived risk involved) you are essentially painting a target on your back, especially if you have children. Even if you've evaluated the risks and feel that you are living your alternative lifestyle in a safe and responsible way, you have no control over how your neighbors and law enforcement will view your decision.

And that is a dangerous way to live. 

Homemade Bagels!

Today I tried out the Homemade Bagel recipe posted at theprairiehomestead.com who in turn borrowed the recipe from Ten at the Table. I guess you could say it's from a friend of a friend?

Anyway, it was an uncontested success. The kids couldn't wait to get their hands all over them.

One of the best parts is that they're super easy. Knead, rest, shape, boil, and bake!

Viola! Aren't they beautiful??

Well, okay, my photography isn't as cute as either of the other ladies. (I'm Frumpy remember?) But I still had to show proof that I produced these delicious little treats. 

They're fabulous with just plain butter, and I can't wait to try them with cream cheese when my Sexy Man comes home. One day I'll culture my own cream cheese from theprairiehomestead recipe box, but until then, I'm pretty stinkin' happy to eat these babies plain!

And one day I'll figure out how to use my camera...again.

Bringing up Bebe

I just finished reading Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. It was alright as books go. I enjoyed it, although I'm not jumping up and down with hysteria over it like others I've read before.

I found the cultural parenting sketches interesting, though I'm curious to know how much is stereotypical assumption. I did think that her observations of American style parenting were more extreme than what I've observed in my own area. Perhaps there is greater variation regionally than she brings up. In fact I'm almost sure of this since I've heard corroborating stories about the New York parenting climate, which sounds extremely bizarre to me.

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely struggled with some of the parenting angst she describes, especially with my first baby. I've found that I've naturally lightened up a bit and adopted some of the more "French" parenting habits naturally as I've been a parent longer.

A few of the things I didn't like about the French parenting culture were the lack of interest in breastfeeding, and the huge push to regain Mom's figure. For me, breastfeeding is way easier and more convenient than bottle feeding, and I think it would be difficult to be in a culture that wasn't very accepting of it. And while I've certainly never thought of myself as huge or overweight, I'm perfectly happy to hang onto a few pounds until I get motivated some time after the 3 month post-baby mark. I'm happy that we don't have that same cultural peer pressure in the States to get back into shape so fast.

I did like the ideas about the cadre, or frame, where certain things are very disciplined, but the children have a lot of freedom aside from those things. I also appreciated the importance of independent play, respect for others, no snacking between meals, and openness to new foods. These are things that I am working on doing, or would like to implement better. I also would like to try to implement "the pause" better with our next baby in regards to sleeping habits.

One area that the book makes me aspire to be better is in scheduling. I'm not very good with being somewhere or doing something at a certain time. I can definitely see the benefit of eating at the same times every day and getting the kids down for a scheduled bed time. We have a rough schedule at our house, but the actual event can vary up to an hour.

I would be curious to experience the environment that Druckerman describes in the French culture of high quality, government subsidized child care. I think it's incredible that workers at the creche make their jobs a career and that competition to get into the field is very high. I love that they're trained extensively in biology, child development, nutrition, sleep, etc, and that they serve meals that aren't American kid-centric type meals. Instead of chicken nuggets, they serve their meals in courses containing "adult" foods that you might see at any upscale French restaurant. They also allow a great deal of free play, rather than trying to speed up the child's academic development like we tend to focus on more here in the States.

We ended up making the decision for me to stay home with the kids. I don't have any regrets, and I think for our situation it's the right thing for right now. However, I am impressed that the French culture makes it so easy and appealing to return to work if the mother desires. I would have much less difficulty working knowing my children were in a good, high-quality child care situation like Druckerman describes, while not having to pay an arm and a leg for it.

While the book was interesting, I didn't find it revolutionary by any means. I'm not sure I would even recommend it to anyone. It did make me interested in learning a bit more about French culinary practices. I would like to find out more about their meal time habits and what not. Maybe I'll even try a few recipes. For this reason, I'm working on tracking down French Women Don't Get Fat, which Druckerman mentioned in her book. I've also checked out The Man Who Ate Everything, also mentioned in the book, and look forward to reading it next.  

Kindergarten Standards for the Common Core

I read an article this morning, talking about the Kindergarten Common Core Standards. The authors have concerns that they may not developmentally appropriate for some children. This is particularly the case with learning to read. They have concerns that the high stake testing environment and requirements will be detrimental to those who aren't yet ready.

I understand the need and desire to have common standards educationally. I can understand how it would make things more consistent and reliable (and easy for those who transfer between states). However, it seems that it is practically impossible to implement such standards without a large amount of testing and oversight that is not beneficial to the learning process itself.

Also, while I can appreciate the philosophy that there are some things that everybody needs to know, I'm not sure I buy into it 100%. If we are all trained to think the same, where will our future innovation come from?

I was in High School when the No Child Left Behind program went into effect. Our high school was probably one that was not quite up-to-par with where the powers that be thought we should have been. As a student, I could feel the immense pressure from the teachers on our need as students to perform well on these tests, probably under the threat of our school being on probation or whatever. Immediately the rate of testing and practice testing increased substantially. It was an interesting effect to say the least. Personally, I didn't mind as I somewhat enjoy bubble testing, but I don't believe this was the case for most of my peers.

I can only imagine the structural changes that would have had to have taken effect with even more stringent Common Core requirements in place. I don't believe that type of testing and pressure should be taking place for 5 and 6 year old children.

In regards to the particular standard that Kindergarteners be required to read, I feel it's unnecessary. Of course they should be practicing and learning at whatever rate they are comfortable with. I'm not saying we hide all the alphabet letters away in the closet or anything. But reading is such an important part of learning, and I believe it should be pursued in an enjoyable way, not as a dreaded task. Kids who are willing to read voluntarily will do better later on than those who were forced to acquire the skill when they weren't ready because of a set of misguided standards that may not be developmentally appropriate.

I'm currently working my way through The Read Aloud Handbook, by Jim Trelease. I love his approach. If there was more reading aloud to Kindergarten children, they would experience more of the love and joy and FUN! that comes through reading, and desire to learn for themselves. More so than comes from doing worksheets anyway.

Anyway, it is a concern of mine. Of course I would be thrilled if my 5yoS met the reading standards by the end of Kindergarten. Of course we work on sounds and letters. We're even doing reading lessons, because he was interested in it. But I'm not going to bust both of our butts and smother his love of books in the process just because some bureaucrat sees children as commodities rather than individuals. 

Here's a video on the topic:

Anyway, I'm a firm believer that, for my kids at least, it's better to take a break and come back to a topic if they're just not ready to learn it. This is actually our third attempt at starting this set of reading lessons. If I had persisted when he wasn't ready for some of the tasks (specifically the ability to rhyme) I'm certain he would have hated the process immensely.

Unfortunately, when you're a teacher with 30 kids, you don't really have the option to do this with your classroom. Things need to be taught on a certain date, and that's really just the way it is.

As a side note, I remember this causing me some duress in 3rd grade when I wasn't quite ready to learn my multiplication tables but was required to anyway. I was under a lot of psychological stress at the time, as I had just moved into a new family. To this day, I still don't multiply well, and I'm sure it's probably because I only did what I had to to get by for the tests. Also you can imagine how this one experience made math more difficult for me for the rest of my education. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference to have taken a break from the multiplication tables and came back to it in a month or two, but perhaps it would have been beneficial to at least give it a try.

Bad Math from Anti-Vax Comments

In following the Disneyland Measles story, I am finding interesting comments from anti-vaxxers about the articles. One that keeps resurfacing is something similar to this:

"If vaccines are so effective, why is it that 5 people that got infected were vaccinated? Out of 20 people, that makes 25%."

I am not good at math. But even so, this looks like a huge fallacy to me.

I find this comment interesting because even as bad at math as I am, I understand a few principles that show how flawed their reasoning is. The most important of these is that the vaccinated population is MUCH higher than the non-vaccinated population in the United States, therefore, even if the amount of people that got infected was exactly the same, or a bit higher, it is still way less likely to contract the disease if you are vaccinated vs. being unvaccinated.

Keeping in mind that to get an accurate estimate, I would need figures of the percentages of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated people at the park during that time frame, and that those figures are unavailable, here's the best with what I can do.

(If I wanted to approximate those figures, I could possibly come up with a reasonable ratio by figuring how many people from which states and countries attended and what the vaccine rate is from each of those areas. Alas, I'm not dedicated enough to actually go looking for this information, and I'm not sure the percentage of Disneyland patrons is available by where they're visiting from anyway.)

The only real figures I have is that according to this article at least 15 out of 20 people infected were not vaccinated.

So, lacking anything close to what might resemble actual figures, let's assume that the vaccination rate at the park during exposure could have been anywhere between 80-99%. I'm giving it a wider range than is probably accurate to demonstrate that the fallacy still stands even with figures more in favor of anti-vax proponents.

Assuming that 10,000 people had been exposed (for ease of computation), that 20 contracted it, and that 15 were unvaccinated, here are some figures:

If 80% of the exposed population were vaccinated, the chances of contracting the disease for the vaccinated was 1 in 1,600 while for the non-vaccinated it was 1 in 133. That leaves the unvaccinated at 12x more likely to contract the disease.

If 85% of the exposed population were vaccinated, the chances of contracting the disease for the vaccinated was 1 in 1,700 while for the non-vaccinated it was 1 in 100. That leaves the unvaccinated at 17x more likely to contract the disease.

If 90% of the exposed population were vaccinated, the chances of contracting the disease for the vaccinated was 1 in 1,800 while for the non-vaccinated it was 1 in 66.667. That leaves the unvaccinated at 27x more likely to contract the disease.

If 95% of the exposed population were vaccinated, the chances of contracting the disease for the vaccinated was 1 in 1,900 while for the non-vaccinated it was 1 in 33. That leaves the unvaccinated at 57x more likely to contract the disease.

If 99% of the exposed population were vaccinated, the chances of contracting the disease for the vaccinated was 1 in 1,980 while for the non-vaccinated it was 1 in 6.667. That leaves the unvaccinated at 297x more likely to contract the disease.

In fact, in order for the argument to stand that vaccines are not effective because 5 people who contracted the disease were vaccinated, the vaccination rate in the population would have had to have been 25% to make it equal to the chances of the unvaccinated contracting the disease.

The fact that the vaccination rate was much higher shows that the vaccine has a huge protective effect. In fact, even the examples of 80-85% are a very low estimate, and I believe it is highly unlikely that the population at Disneyland during that time was anywhere near that percentage. Even at those rates, however, I would take a 12x protective effect for any risk out there, let alone a 57x protective effect, which is more in range of the probable vaccination rate.

The sad part about this to me is that those individuals who were vaccinated (or too young to get vaccinated, I believe there were 2) and contracted it anyway had a higher chance of doing so since 13 extra (and unnecessary) carriers were running around with the disease.

I highly believe in agency and the right to make choices for your own body. I am thankful that I was not forced into vaccinating my kids when I was not yet ready. (That may have caused those forced into it to move into extreme political views that would have perhaps been more detrimental to society on a large scale than 20 people contracting the Measles.) That being said, I am also thankful that my hesitancy did not cause pain and illness for another person.

I do believe that people should have the right to chose. However, I believe that the right to choice should only come with the willingness to take responsibility for that choice as well. What form that would take, I do not know. For me personally, if I were to continue to chose not to vaccinate, I believe it would have been wrong for me to send my children to a public school, for example.

I do wish there were some way for those who decide not to vaccinate to obtain the necessary "natural immunity" so that they do not increase the risk for those who are willing to vaccinate. Perhaps if this trend continues and the number of anti-vaxxers continues to climb, a clinic where these families can go to get exposed to the disease in a controlled, isolated environment, and at a suitable age, would be a prudent measure. (As prudent as one could be in the situation, at least.) Of course the incurred medical costs should be the responsibility of the family. It seems that if they would not be willing to submit their children to the natural disease in this way, nor to get the vaccines, then they are simply desiring a free ride from society.

That's really not OK in my book.

Playing Vaccine Catch-Up

Yesterday a rash (okay, okay, couldn't resist!) of articles came out about Measles coming back to my home state from Disneyland.

Now, let me start off by saying my 5yoS and 2yoD are basically not vaccinated at this point. I know. I know. It may not be very valid, but let me explain why....

1. I was not vaccinated until I was 8.

My birth parents were sort of hippies. When I came to my family, I didn't really get much education on the need for vaccines. We just were taken to get them, end of story. It was an aggressive catch-up schedule with 3 or 4 needle sticks per visit and was a bit traumatic for me. I believe some sit down time to explain things in depth would have been beneficial for me.

Also, in my mind the argument that "I turned out just fine," was pretty persuasive. 

2. My psychological temperament. 

* I tend to be very ambivalent about a lot of things, and simultaneously agree and disagree with the things I hear about, especially emotionally hot-topics...like vaccination. In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye's quote has always stuck with me because I find myself doing this All. The. Time.

Avram: (gestures at Perchik and Mordcha) "He's right, and he's right? They can't both be right."
Tevye:  "You know... you are also right."

When this happens, I tend to fence-sit, not taking much action either way, which in many cases does actually pick a side by default. In the vaccine situation, not taking action is actually taking the anti-vax side.

* I tend to be suspicious and distrustful of authority, including government and medical authority, as well as mainstream opinion. I have a strong need to do things differently than everyone else.

* One explanation I came across that really resonated for my personality (even though I simultaneously think it's bunk, and think it actually has some insight...see?...more ambivalence) is the Enneagram personality test. It labels me as a 4, which is titled "The Individualist," and says that my basic fear is that I have no identity or personal significance, and that my basic desire is to find myself and my significance, or in other words, to create an identity. This is huge for me. I often don't feel like I know who I am, and true to the description I have"tr[ied] several different identities on for size,"especially those that are unique or different. One of those identities I've played with is the natural/alternative/health-nut who, among other things, don't vax.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've never been out in people's faces picketing or yelling and screaming about Evil Pharma or anything like that. I've just had enough uneasiness about all the claims to wonder and to prevent action. My dedication to the truthfulness (or lack thereof) of the claims has vacillated wildly over the years.

Also, please note that it's taken me several years to realize these things about myself and my motivations. At the time I was making these decisions for the first time, I didn't realize why I felt the way I did at times. Hindsight is an interesting thing, and it's a good thing for me to understand why I feel some of these conflicts within me. 

3. We have not had a doctor for more than 8 years.

We have not had a doctor that we could just call or make an appointment with since we got married. Chalk this one up to being poor, newlywed students. We've never had a job with medical benefits, and we've never made enough money to afford our own insurance. We prefer not to rely on state aid, and so even though we applied to have our kids covered, we've only used it for the few times we've taken them to the emergency room.

As a side note, I did apply for medical benefits for myself when I was pregnant with our first baby. Ironically we made too much money to qualify, but not enough to buy our own insurance. It's a tough place to be. So I hired a midwife and did the thing at home. This also fit in nicely with my natural health persona that I was experimenting with.

The difference I believe this made is that even those times where I thought to myself Maybe I should go get the kids some shots... I had no one that I felt I could call or to ask questions to. This is especially anxiety-producing knowing that any random doctor I called I would have to explain that they weren't current and why. I didn't want to deal with whatever judgment came out of that and be pushed into doing too many vaccines too fast when I still wasn't sure how I felt about them.

Then I'd have to pay who knows how much for it, which I didn't want to bother with.

4. I saw no immediate need. 

 It's easy to dismiss the issue when there aren't any outbreaks in the news. Being a fence-sitter on the issue, I made a deal with myself. I decided that if an outbreak occurred locally, I would take action, whether it was quarantining my kids as long as the risk remained, or getting them vaccinated at the appropriate time. (Never mind that I didn't really think through the possibility that it might be too late by then and that the appropriate time would be BEFORE the outbreak. Yes, that was irresponsible.) I also made a deal with myself that I would at least get them vaccinated if they attended public schools, or at the very latest before puberty since some childhood illnesses worsen with age.

My 5yoS does have one dose of the MMR. We traveled to Montreal when he was 2, and we knew that it was a large, international melting-pot, and I believe there may have been some cases in New York at the time, which airport we expected to pass though. So we got him that shot a month before we left.

There were no problems with it, which I appreciated and which allayed my worry about the anti-vax claims to some degree. He does have a slight peanut sensitivity, which manifested before he got his MMR. I am somewhat glad that we knew it was there before we got any shots, otherwise I might have been extremely tempted to blame it on the shots, per the anti-vax literature, and possibly not come around to the idea of vaccinating more fully. In this way, I consider my vaccine hesitance a blessing. It allowed me to see the bias that might have been there in other circumstances.

Now What?

So here we are. My 5yoS has had one dose of the MMR and my 2yoD has not had anything yet. And there are a couple cases of Measles locally. 

Luckily, when I applied for aid for my current pregnancy, I was able to get it for myself and to upgrade the kids' coverage. I finally got my cards in the mail just yesterday, and have selected a Primary Care Provider and made an appointment for today. Both kiddos will be getting an MMR this afternoon.

I know that sounds reactionary. Maybe it is to some degree. It really is coincidence about the timing of the local cases though. I was planning on getting my 5yoS caught up just in case we send him to school next fall, and starting my 2yoD as well. I'd like to get it done now while we have coverage and a doctor. I only just got approved and in the system this month, so I haven't been able to do it any quicker. The news from yesterday has put a certain hustle into my step though!

And yes, I am having to resort to using state aid, which is not ideal, but probably better to just go ahead and do anyway. Maybe I'll have to re-evaluate my attitude toward accepting this type of help.

Since it takes about 2 weeks for the vaccine to take effect, we will probably be laying low for a bit before hitting the town. In the (hopefully rare) case that they have been exposed, we expect that we'll start seeing symptoms before then and can take care of it appropriately.

So here's the bottom line for me. Yes, I was swayed into inaction by the anti-vax movement. Yes, that was irresponsible. But I'm working to fix it.

If you know someone who doesn't vax, I can tell you it won't help to badger them. I'm glad that I've had a family who, even if they disagreed, didn't harass me over the decision (or lack thereof). If they had, I'm sure it would've pushed me further into the anti-vax literature and I would not have been interested in changing for having to admit my wrongness in the face of hostility.

Back to Work!

It's a New Year, a new semester, and for my Sexy Man, a new job. He was required to take on an internship for his degree, and he was lucky enough to find one that is paid.

Last semester he worked locally as a handyman fixing up a house for a prospective flipper...you know, someone who is hoping to flip a house. It was local, which was super nice because he was able to come home and have lunch with us. This job is NOT local. He has a bit of a commute, but we're hoping to make the best of it by recording his textbooks so he can "study" while he drives.

We're also planning on sending meals to help curb the fast food bills.

I got this beautiful piece of equipment for Christmas one year....or was it my birthday?? Anyway, it is fabulous for making freezer meals.

Today I packaged 6 Sweet Chili Chicken meals consisting of rice, chicken, and stir fry veggies topped off with sweet chili sauce. I also made 5 packs of fried rice. It was a simple recipe with just ham, scrambled eggs, rice, and garlic with soy sauce.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited to be able to send him off with homemade healthy(ish) meals and snacks for his work day. Here's to hoping this job is a good one!

Yogurt!

This morning I'm enjoying some homemade yogurt for breakfast!

I would say it's a part of my plan to start the New Year off right diet-wise, but to be perfectly honest, I'm planning on scarfing down some pumpkin pie (also homemade....from pumpkins I grew on my front lawn) left over from last night's party after I'm done.

Making yogurt is easy, and is cheaper than buying it from the store in most cases. I could buy a 32 oz plain Greek yogurt from Walmart for $3.98 (plus tax). That comes to about $0.75 per 6 oz serving. On the other hand, I can buy a gallon of milk for $3.08 (plus tax) and get about 11 6 oz servings of Greek style yogurt out of it. That's about $0.28 for the same 6 oz serving. Both the yogurt and the milk are priced from the Great Value brand. Of course adding in fruit, sweeteners, etc will make it more, but depending on what you use, still less than a $0.60 Yoplait, with the added benefit of knowing what is in your breakfast.

All you need is a starter, some basic kitchen tools, and a food thermometer. I used a Yogourmet culture to get started, but you can also just buy a cup of yogurt with live cultures in it if you want. One of these days, I want to explore the different yogurt cultures offered by Cultures for Health, but all in good time. Right now, what I have works just great!

Anyway, you bring the milk up to 180 degrees. It will be just below boiling, and will form a bit of a skin on the top. Then you let it cool to 110 degrees and add your culture.

Put it in a nice, warm place for 8-12 ish hours, and let it do its thing. I use my oven with the light on, but there are pretty sweet yogurt makers and stuff you can get if you want. I'm sure they have better temperature control than my setup, but hey, mine works just fine.

Notice the small 4 oz jar. That's the culture for my next go around. I set it aside at the beginning so I don't have to worry about it later.

Don't stir the yogurt while it's culturing! Yogurt likes to be left alone for the process. At the end of the time, I gently tilt it side to side to see if it's set the way I like it.

You can eat it as is after culturing, but it may be thinner than you're used to. I like to strain mine.

I line a colander with coffee filters and strain out around 2 quarts of whey. This gives me the consistency I prefer, although you can do more or less (ending up with more or less yogurt in the end with a thicker or thinner consistency). You can also use cheese cloth, a flour sack, or thin dish towel, but I'm preferring the coffee filters for now. I do plan on getting large industrial size ones after I finish off the batch I have.

This is the whey that gets strained off. Looks like lemonade right? Well that's just perfect, because that's what my Sexy Man likes me to make with it.

I add in sugar and a little lemon juice to taste, and that's exactly what it tastes like. Sometimes I'll also throw in some raspberries for color.

Anyway, at the end of the day, (and it does take about a day) I have slightly more than 1/2 a gallon of delicious fresh yogurt and slightly less than 1/2 a gallon of whey for about $3.00. Not a bad trade off!

My favorite way to eat homemade yogurt is with a bit of honey or maple syrup mixed in. One of these days, I'd like to have maple trees I can tap, and/or honeybees to make my own sweetener myself. Also a cow.